tonight is a night i am distant, distant from life, distant
from god, distant from everything, the way i feel is not a
good feeling. 

i never say i need to leave my place, i never need to
usually. 

i need to leave my hometown and go somewhere new. 

i need a new lease on life and start things fresh. 

i have disobeyed god, and for that well there are no words,
its disobeying a parent. 

to me disobeying god is worse than disobeying your parents.


although i slip and fall flat on my face, i know that, i
need  to come out and confess my sins. 

to my god and to myself.

i am truly his child, soo why do i get myself into earthly
temptations. 

never again will i touch anything that is tempting.... never
again will i be sooo stupid. 


i hate that i did this...

i feel sooo awful.