another rambling

tonight is a night i am distant, distant from life, distant from god, distant from everything, the way i feel is not a good feeling. i never say i need to leave my place, i never need to usually. i need to leave my hometown and go somewhere new. i need a new lease on life and start things fresh. i have disobeyed god, and for that well there are no words, its disobeying a parent. to me disobeying god is worse than disobeying your parents. although i slip and fall flat on my face, i know that, i need to come out and confess my sins. to my god and to myself. i am truly his child, soo why do i get myself into earthly temptations. never again will i touch anything that is tempting.... never again will i be sooo stupid. i hate that i did this... i feel sooo awful.