he would always come at night...
when my mother worked midnights
and my uncles partied all night
and called it babysitting.
we were sent to bed early,
so the festivities could begin
as if anyone could sleep
with the music up all the way.
 
I could smell pot
and cigerett smoke
thick and heavy in the air.
drunkin obsenities traveled
upstairs to my mom's room...
were I was... too afraid
to close the door all the way

even as my little brother lye
sound asleep beside me,
he crept in...
did he think I was sleeping?
or was he beckoned by the sound
of my heart pounding
inside my 7 year old body
so loudly it could burst.
 what was going to happen
this time?
my eyes and fists clenched.
 
someone stumbles up 
from down stairs 
to go to the bathroom,
so he quickly hides...
inside I plead for someone
to check on us...the children
but we are the last thought
on anyone's mind.

he emerges from the dark corner
and slowly moves closer
sitting first at the edge of the bed
creeping... ever... closer
 
why is he holding my hand?
then quickly and quietly
he places my hand to touch him
but I pull away
oh god , help me...
over and over this goes on

abrubtly he gets up 
to leave the room...
only to position himself
in the bathroom...
directly in my view
standind over the toilet
his hands are on his
zipper...he looks right at me

I'm frozen with fear
I dont want to see
but my eyes wont close...

suddenly, with out sound or warning 
I feel the warmth of two hands 
lifting my head
turning it away from
this sight that would 
haunt my memory forever
they are the softest
kindest hands I ever felt
in my entire life...

so lovingly they shielded me,
protected me from this horror.
they comforted me a few moments...
untill the paralizing fear was gone.

when I was brave enough to
open my eyes...
no one was there.
wildly, I searched the room 
from my bed, so not to make a sound
but there was no one to be found

when he rentered the room
I boldly told him to leave...
both of us stood, 
stunned at the
athority in wich I spoke
and just when he was about to reply
my brother began to  stir 
and he quickly left the room
never to bother me again...