The Pain Inside Me

As the pain inside grows each day I feel myself being ripped away The enormous growth in the colon Feeling like my life is stolen My family not knowing what’s going on Just going day to day like nothing wrong How do I tell them I gonna die I don’t want my kids to look at me and cry And so we head off to camp once more Before we find out what’s in store Standing in the camper making dinner I just wonder If its cause I’m a sinner What in my life did I do To make me have this to go through The pain and aching at my side I just wanna run and hide And so I look at my kids once more For it is them who I adore As I sit there by that campfire Just feeling like I was a liar If only they would know that this was our last Cause my time has come where I will pass No more family trip again For the road is gonna end. Finally we got home My kids just set out to roam I suddenly had to realize That my colon has doubled in size Making the drive to see what’s going on Just hoping it hasn’t been to long All that they could do Is cut me open and take some tissue And so I lay there on that bed All I can think of is being dead Looking down at below my chest Just thinking I need some rest The scars are open wide I know they’ll never hide It had been a long day My family is so far away I would like to clear my life at this rate To start out fresh nothing on my plate Getting home was a chore For I had no idea what was in store I laid in bed to heal my pain The doctors say I’ll never be the same No to help me with a ride For he wasn’t by my side And so I finally get home I have to do it all alone Three kids waiting for me If only they knew what the future would be Remission came to me atlas The doctors say this shall be the past My life has left the ground I starting nursing….getting around The memories with my kids are great I even think of going on a date Christmas has come once more I got them presents from the store This would be the last Because my pain came from my past In April I had a scare The tumor surfaced once more The surgery didn’t work this time My life wouldn’t ever be mine Just memories of all my past I just hope that they will last I feel the energy draining down My spirits have hit the ground And as I know my time will end I just remember the promise from him He promised me if I have faith each day He’ll take my pain all away And so I lay here on this bed Trying to just raise my head All the strength that I have is gone For I know that I have no one Then suddenly my son comes in Sitting by my bed I just listen to him It will be the last that we will see For my life will end in misery And as we talk before I die I just try not to cry He’s so strong the better one Be was always the good son I can only recognize him now For I don’t remember the family somehow The cancer ate away my brain I guess that is why I think I’m insane And as he walked out of my room I knew the time was certainly soon I just closed my eye’s to cry…. For that night I surely did die…….