PTSD

Scared little girl whose hiding in the corner, reliving her past as tomorrow gets warmer. Wishing her mum never brought all these "daddy's" home, And how my fucking thoughts roam. If I hate the past how come its part of my life now? I don't want to remember but i dunno how. How do you overcome this when its classified as a disorder, Like everything plays over and over in my head from a recorder. I hate what she has put me through, But it didn't end there, then there was that "daddy" she bought home that makes my life hell with everything he'd do. He is still a bit part of my life no matter how fast i run to try and escape, He crawls up my skin and gets me so bent out of shape. I hate that she use to hurt me and beat me, But now im older i can see. It was just the drugs- she is truly insane, Things still aren't working properly in her brain. All of her kids she has lost to welfare, And i feel sorry for them it just isn't fair. Poor little Shannon was 1 since he lived with his mum, Now he is 8 and treated like he is scum. The system, the government isn't really there to help, Like a lil puppy bein pulled on a leash-doesn't matter how hard it yelps. i dunno im trying to put all this shit behind, How do i keep from relapsing and pressing rewind. All i have learnt is life can deal some fucking low blows over and over again, And its hard to trust in a world of false friends. But i will get stronger and i will overcome, I guess what's done is done? Seems things are finally starting to get better for me, And ill be happy when from this i am set free...