She died fourteen years ago today,
It was never meant to be this way,
Custody battles and drugs,
By us and her Dad she was always loved.
Greatly missed by everyone that met her,
Greatly cherished by the family that where.
I wonder what she would be like,
The years have passed and it was such a great hike.
I dunno how her life would have turned out,
And i just wanna shout.
I cant help but but the blame on our Mum,
How could one person be so dumb.
Finally the drugs took something important away,
But in this lifestyle you still choose to stay.
She wouldnt have died if you had not have been high,
Leaves me asking the question why?
Are drugs of such a high importance, are they worth the life
of your child?
Guess you always where a bit wild.
Now look at our Mum, what has she accomplished in her life,
Nothing but strife.
You have lost the rest of us five,
But when does the fucking common sense arrive.
It makes me sick that you still try to  have a
mother-daughter thing with me, 
You just need to wake up and fucking see.
You gave me up for adoption when i was two,
till grandma came and rescued from what we would have been
through.
I gave you another chance just before luke was born,
But all you did was hurt, manipulate me and keave me torn.
From wanting to have a mother and leading a normal-ish
life,
Please just get away from me i dont want your strife.
Ive lost enough because of you,
My sister, my family, my self worth and its ll because of
the things that you do. 
I try not to wallow in the things from the past, 
But its like nothing i do to break free ever lasts.
I think ill be dealing with all this shit for the rest of my
days,
But i no eventually ill see it clearly through all this
haze.
I still make excuses for you and i no that i shouldnt,
Its transended into my relationships and so i put up with
his shit because i couldnt.
I couldnt leave and have yet another breakdown,
I didnt wanna wear that frown.
but i was strong enough and i didnt stay,
And now ive found someone who takes it all away.
I love him i really do,
He will never no just how much he helps me through.
But i am happy and so strong,
I can see nothing else going wrong. 
For now i will end this poem and end the pain,
Nothing left for me to gain!