I have hidden things all my life,
To help people stay out of strife.
All the anger i forced away,
Now i just want them to pay.
Parents, friends and family,
I wish i could make them see -see what i have inside,
But it's something ill always hide.
Secrets that ive kept locked away,
And i guess thats how they have stayed.
The secrets i thought i had put away,
Somehow just like to stay.
I cant tell anyone the things from my past,
Cause the support usually doesnt last.
The pain lives in me,
Making my body ache cause they run free.
But i had just fooled myself,
Acting like i had it all together within oneself.
Sometimes it hurts so bad,
But in a way it actually makes me glad.
It makes me realise things about myself that i have never
seen,
new depths arise takes me to parts of me i have never been.
Hatred still somehow controls my life,
Wanting me to reach for that knife.
the thought is so strong,
And it doesnt even seem wrong.
It's what i wanna do,
Get released from the hurt and pain i've been through.
Seems their is just no other way,
I dont even feel like taking grip of each and everyday.
But before i do i just want 'them' to see,
the pain that they caused me.
These burdens i have carried all my life,
And im so sick of the strife.
I just wanna see them pay,
For all the times they made me pretend everything was okay.
It hard when i do care,
But right now it's just to much to bare.
Dealing with everything in one hit,
Just overwhelmes me i can do nothing but just sit.
I know what some people see,
It's not the real me.
All they'd do is judge,
There opinions usually wont budge.
Making me known as this person im not,
Tidal waving-making everyones opinions of me not that crash
hot.
Its as if im evil,
"Dont let anyone near me im like a weavil.
I'll polute you all,
Please kick me if i crawl.
Crawl up to you for pitty,
Trust me im smart and whitty.
Im a wolf dressed up as a sheep,
I can make you weap."
STOP!!!!!!!!!
It is not me,
I just wanted you to see.
Im the person i was born,
Not this person you have torn.
Why do u think this way of me?
Does it make you jump with glee?
To see someones life about to drown,
Well you deserve a fucking crown.
Growing this hatred inside,
And now its open and wide.
I want you to destroy your own life,
Stop you from causing this strife.
That will be the way i make you pay,
Ill watch as you weaken n crumble that day.
But i guess thats not me- im not that way,
Your 'perfectly polluting'life it'll prob stay.
I love you,
Even with everything you have put me through.
It's just everything is popping out,
Making me uncontrollably shout.
So i will shout.