Fracture

I wrote this again when my fiance was away and I was having an awfyl biopolar low. I wrote it on the 20th of September 2008: 'Time stretches regally out like purple satin Worked between the nicks and cogs Of an ever-ticking machine; Turning and conspiring, Performance after performance of the same routine. But where am I? Am I standing as an observer Waiting for the line to end? Or is it my own mind Who claims Puck in this story? My teacher would tell me that it is significant That my heart aches like this when you are not here. I feel incomplete; a missing metal part which has made my system half crash Turns into emptiness, over and over Until I can no longer find the off-switch. Numbness no longer comes as easily: That comforting cave has collapsed painfully inwards And I am unable to rebuild myself. I can't hide. I just miss you.'