Stagger

I can feel him stagger behind me, his breath on my neck I feel it happen and it is a devastating wreck It's painful and wonderful and humbling all the same I want to run back to him, but I cannot say his name It hurts too much How he lied We loved like sinners And I cried You lost me looking for someone else I fell through the cracks We broke into pieces And I fill in the blanks as life goes by You go here The weeks go by faster with my plastic smile And I cannot even think his name But that's not what they called him and I still cannot call him No matter what is inside me at that particular time I feel him in every step I take I hear his laughter and feel the breezes But the breeze grows stronger and blows us apart Ripping out vitals and drowning our hearts When will I find you again? I can feel him stagger behind me, his voice in my ear What were the chances we'd both end up here? It's the heartbreaking and lovemaking and life taking all the same And I want to turn around, but I cannot say his name