write of passage....

i cant write anymore, nothing i want to say- everything seems a bore. ive ended up in a place where i dont no exactly how i feel, I just dont no whats fake and what is real. No judgments on peoples motives i just wish i couldnt feel, Then maybe i could heal. im sick of being an emotionally drained wreck, Sick of feeling upset. So worried as to what will become of the future- not enjoying today, And i dont want it to be this way. Am i crazy or and i just torn, between what i want and who i am, am i not worthy? sometimes i wish i wasnt born. Will i ever get the things that forfill and satisfy peoples lives? Or is it just me afraid to take that dive. Why am i so insecure and so out of place, Do i fit anywhere within the human race? And then i wonder why i am sitting here writing such a sad little poem, And i wonder have i even grown. from when i started writing all the suicidal thoughts up until now? Im not sure if i have and im not sure how, But to the sad reality of life i will never bow.