Last night I asked myself, "Why am I in this world?"
It has no meaning for me, it wouldn't change with me not in
it,
Maybe it'd be a better place. My friends wouldn't have to
Constantly worry if I'm alive or not, they'd know that I
wasn't,
No one would feel the pain I felt, cause no one would hear
it,
No one would harrass me, I would not be there to harrass,
And not a soul would be wounded with me gone, no ones life
depends on me.
So I asked myself again, "Why can't I end it?" And I
couldn't find the answer to that. 
Maybe I haven't got the coward in me to throw myself off
that cliff, maybe somehow I know that the fall wouldn't kill
me, maybe I want to wait until I turn 13, just to show
everyone that I truly did want to see my 13th birthday, then
kill myself. Noone understands how lonely I am, no one knows
how I cry, Surrounded with people, laughing and smiling, yet
when I look with my heart there's noone around me, there's
noone that cares. They all say they're my best friends, but
I see nothing when they say it, I look at them all and I
think to myself, "Why do I surround myself with these
people?" The only answer I could come up with is I'm lonely,
and I'm searching for someone to end my pain. I want to hold
off, but I want to do it right now, I want to show everyone
that they were in my life but not my heart, and I want to
show my family that a little more care and a lot less
criticism could have stopped this from happening.