Something i'll never get (just a thought)

i see you always on the other side of the wall where no one should be to start with you are the first thing people ignore but i think im the only one who gets it when i try to get in your head you always back away it's like you enjoy this agony and shame you want to be out there in the world but you're so used to nothing that it's gotten so far away so far it's fading why do you want to be such an outcast such a nobody you think it's gonna get better if you just stay alone but how do you know you haven't tried