Building Walls

Particles of concrete hurl through my bloodstream, collect at my heart, begin the new walls. Barricades of grey, they keep life out but they also trap me in. I've left the wounds open too long, let them fester, let them rot me away. The dark damage, the raw disintegration, I can't blame just you anymore. Although I dream of metal slicing through pale flesh, of the pink water swirling away, I fight. You will not scar me anymore, I will not scar myself. No more lilac lines across my wrists. So the walls go up, I shut myself off. I cannot feel, I will not try. The consuming love, its bubbling poison, I try to forget. No more scribbling over the shadowed memories with the ones made only of colour. No more drowning out the haunting words with ones made up of melodies. Stop. I won't destroy myself by loving you for even one more day. (When you could never love me the same.)