Found Poem #1

**you ARE a poseur. in the summer you were blonde and happy and preppy with your designer clothes. and now you dye your hair black, put safety pins all over your clothes, smoke weed, drink, hover around james and his friends and anyone else who is "cool" and steal their identity's and pretend and eventually force yourself to like what they like just so momentarily you can feel like you belong.** thats the passage that this poem comes from. Found Poem #1 dressed in dark trying to hard looking everywhere somewhere... to leave her mark. she didnt belong in the rich world she didnt fit the deisnger image so she left society and sang her own song. the song that so many before had already sang they embraced the newcomer with joy they silently dyed and sandpapered away the evil past there. she was ready to go. she wouldnt drink becuase memories distant of being a 13 year old skank suddenly her heart sank. they were passing a joint something she hated she felt alone desolate, she started to think... no matter what her role wherever she went there would be drugs, sex and alcohol... she'd have to give in sometime... to not to was always her goal. but the world grew darker each and everyday no matter what she wanted it was never that way, she was trapped under ice, her head in a vice she scream pull me back and the ones before started to cry, she realized these were her friends however how few. finially it was okay to like what she did all of those stupid things that she tidally hid. the movies her friends of past despised all of the music she listened too at home finially, she was safe atleast so she thought for the day. but then things changed and the sunshine turned to rain once again the blonde days flooded back and there was nothing she could do to fight the feelings... she said fuck the world i only want to die anyways and copied her friends horrible choices and silently with a friend arranged... for her to be high they decided it was time she said whatever old girl i hate you and goodbye and that was the night her soul started to die. the one she loved left her the ones she relied on changed. they hit a new level where she wouldn't go whatever happened she'd always be at his show and suddenly she found in him more of a friend than in her kin and when she admitted defeat to the curb she was shoved. so she lost her best girl and he was a whore she looked around realizing she didnt know left from right anymore... she was caught in teh middle torn as to what she looked around to see a freak fest. she was in too deep where she couldnt swim she didnt know what else than to leave them. she she was emo for a couple of days realizing though she missed the goth ways and then through her clothes the blonde started to seep. the whole feeling.. not fitting in of not being right she started to scratch, to pick at her skin. she wanted to leave all of this behind but she couldnt she was stuck she did find, she was sick of this dealing. he helped her through and he hugged her and told her he loved her and that no matter what he would never let go she smiled on the inside but didnt let that show, she realized finially who were her friends true. but she was wrong and in the middle was caught between two best friends who one never liked her but pretended she did to get the other back wow how that hurt the hot knife in her back, but still head high she marches singing the song. she used to have a pin for a friend now she only has two and they are not for that they hold her coat together at the seem... what happened to all of her savv? she's sassy and mean she's a bitch and a queen. she rules over those who come singing the song, but now thats fading.. fading to blonde.. those memories brought back by her lover. so at night she cries and silently she prays to Jesus asking questions that will never be answered and she fears the new school where she's being sent as punishment for all the shit through at the school she went, after her prayers she silently hopes that before morning she dies. and nothing has changed as a blonde failure she hoped this too when suddenly the dark side start to show through all teh blonde in her hair all of the glitter on the clothes that she used to wear. but now she is, quite ultimately deranged. she's so morally lost heartbroken and sad looking around for the love she once had the love that rejected her and never loved her back, yeah that one... too bad now her friendship has a cost. xoxo Kyelle