Freak

even as a blonde i couldn't make it so why when i change do you say i fake it? it isn't like i didn't like this stuff before it's more like i wasn't allowed to admit all of the stuff i did at home. ask those who knew me as both a blonde and a freak and you will find the answers no-one seeks. i have always admired the china doll look the one that they don't show in magazines that the would ignores. i wanted to be that i hated society and i hate everything that it has done to me. what normal 15 year ofl girl should wish for breast augmentation for liposuction and a 15 million dollar contract to be a celebrity whether for singing or porn it didn't matter to me. how normal is that? well i guess very when you're blonde and you're ugly. when you're blonde and you dont fit in anywhere when you seem so perfect but inside you're marred. from the cool clique barred for trashing their ways from teh outsiders banned for not being the same. so what can one do? except turn their back be the thing that is commonly attacked. and so i did and now im a freak guess what though this change didnt take only a week. it's been years in the making and all this shit that im taking it isn't right becuase now im not faking. this is who i have become... and this is who i want to be and nobody not even you can take that from me. so accept the change you've changed too and about all our choices there is nothing we can do. yeah i've been mean but so have you i guess in the end we're pretty much equal and i guess according to you our friendship is through. so why do you care? if you hate me so much why do you care what i say on my lunch? why do say all my friends are of pity when you were teh best of those friends I ever had why, oh god why has everything good suddenly turned bad. but i guess i turned you away i psuhed you out of my head becuase you didn't seemm to want me anymore and so i said whatever and tried to forget i tried so hard but i guess it's hard to forget love and to turn you back on those who you do. ** finish this later maybe** xoxo Kyelle