Struggling, thrashing, screaming to escape is a secret
locked away just below my surface
I fight to keep it in and try to stop it from running in
tears from my eyes all down my face,
But some days, by accident, I let it slip my face turns red
and tears roll in rage,
Instead of talking I'll write down all my hurt and pain onto
this crumpled page,
Silently the words I have scribbled scream back at me in
hate for feeling this way,
And when my friends ask what's wrong with me I just can't
bring myself to say,
Who knows how they would react, they could turn away in
disgust,
Out of all my friends and family, theres only a few that I
can trust,
I cannot hide beneath this mask forever but what else is
there for me to do,
I know there are some people, like my father, that will hate
what is true,
Who I am is said to be a sin, will I be damned to hell for
what I can't change?
How loving could God really be if hes made life to hate
something a little strange?
Again I take the steel to my skin, carving every starry
night until my veins are dry,
Hoping for an end to this bottomless pit of pain, so I won't
feel the need to cry,
But still I fall deeper in this hole, all the hurt pulling
me away from days light,
Swallowing each smile, until I'm trapped in dark and have
lost any will to fight,
I just hope that in the end there will be no more tears and
no more pain,
No more sitting in the gutter watching my blood run away
with the rain,
But for now I am still trapped in fear,
Fear of being cast away,
It's what fills up every tear,
It's what kills me everyday,