no fire

I guess it hurts the most when you think your doing well coping, actually getting a step up, moving forward and then you realize how pathatic you really are you have braved the long dark night and you think the worst is over only to wake up and find the flowers all covered in snow disapointment becomes a way of life you find your self turning into this bitter, resentfull creature know one wants to know because she is so down and out I look at pictures of yesterday and see a fun loving girl waiting for Mr. Right foolishly she settled for Mr. willing to try who turned out to be... Mr. all wrong, but hey I tried. I had so much to offer love, kindness, passion but you have quenched that fire inside and I sit here damp, and dismal no fire, just smoke choking the life out of me going thru the motions trying daily to keep up that role model standard for the children but all the wile I'm dying a little everyday no matter how I pretend how long can I last? I dont know? what's the record?