I Am Alive

I didn't think I'd be here this Christmas nor able to marvel at blue sky versus green leaves, the riot of colour beneath endless sun. I thought it impossible to be in awe of the miracle of life ever again. I was supposed to die, I should have died but I didn't. Suddenly I open my eyes, my pupils dilate in surprise for I am immeasurably gifted despite what you did to my heart. Boys chasing after me, the awakening of beauty, passionate sex, music in my veins, dancing in the lounge. Excitement for the future, the shades of gold painted across the scenery. I was dead but now am alive. I love you still, will always do. It hurts still, will always do. But here I am and there you are. Palace princess. Trailer trash.