I didn't think I'd be here 
this Christmas
nor able to marvel
at blue sky versus green leaves,
the riot of colour beneath
endless sun.
I thought it impossible
to be in awe
of the miracle of life
ever again.
I was supposed to die,
I should have died
but I didn't. 
Suddenly I open my eyes,
my pupils dilate in surprise
for I am immeasurably gifted
despite what you did
to my heart.
Boys chasing after me,
the awakening of beauty,
passionate sex,
music in my veins,
dancing in the lounge.
Excitement for the future,
the shades of gold 
painted across the scenery.
I was dead
but now am alive.
I love you still,
will always do.
It hurts still,
will always do.
But here I am and
      there
you are.
Palace
 princess.
Trailer
 trash.