a christmas wish

a christmas wish. it's all the same. everyone gets new toys, and some that are lame. everyone goes around, showing off what they got. yet i show off too, yet my favorite i act as if i forgot. some got new toys and treats, and get new clothes and shoes to go on their feet. yet some are there, and they ask "whatd u get." i just shrug and say "a new cell and something i shall never forget" they all look at each other and act confused, they all asked me what, but i just refused. because my gift is special, but you wouldn't understand. because you cant put it in a box. or tie it with a ribbon or a band. I can smile again. for once in my life. to you it may be nothing, but for me, its the only way i survive. i was depressed, and i still am. but today i tried and remembered, on who i really am. becuase some wish for a million. or something from their boyfriend like a kiss in the sand. but today, the Lord Jesus gave me a helping hand. i feel so bright as if i could die. but now i have His smile, too bad i'll have to say goodbye... but then again, who says i have to say goodbye. and why do i have to go back to my cutz and cry. if i choose to be happy, then i should. and maybe if i try hard enough, maybe i could. but i feel as if its a dream and a lie. and soon i'll end up going back to suide and then die. but that is why i pray to you my Lord, and i sing to you with an i-love-you kiss. and i thank you for granting, my one and only christmas wish... :)