Through life, i have taken the easy path
Though in my mind, i have taken the most troubled one
Why, in the dead of night, do my thoughts haunt me?
The past holds no real relevance
Except to give me some happy memories
And to show me my mistakes
That path is lit and can be seen clearly
It is the road ahead that troubles me....

I seem to live with 'what ifs' and 'will I's'
And 'will she' and will we'
Why do i fear the future?
I believe it is the fear, that in the end, i will lose her
Like the ones gone before
I do not want to feel the pain and the hurt
That a lost or forsaken love brings to the heart and mind
An almost unbearable feeling, leading to despair

I know inside myself, this is wrong
I should not let myself feel this now
But i should live this life to its fullest
Enjoying every moment it brings me
So why do i torture myself this way?
Why let myself feel the pain
When there is nothing real to cause it?
Just by doing this...feeling these things,
It will inevitably cause the end that i do not require
This has always been the case
No one can be with someone who pours out emotions in a
constant stream
Always trying to be happy
But on occassions, showing the jealousy and upset
These are the things that rip and tear people apart
For there is no reason for those feelings
No reality or substance, no basis

Life isn't like a 'box of chocolates'
Life brings happiness and love
It brings fear and hate
Life brings anger and jealousy
It brings peace and understanding
The wise owl says 'balance my friend, that is the key'
So why do i struggle so to attain that balance?
Why can my mind not except the reality of the present
Instead of always looking to the future with trepidation?
I have said that a life without emotion and love
Is a life half-lived
But sometimes that life is appealing

I have lived too long in the shadow of emotions
Some real, many imagined
I no longer wish to be this way
I want to be free
I want to be the whole person
Not just one thing, to some
And another to others

To some, i am the 'quiet' guy
To others i am the 'clown'
To most i am the 'nice' guy
To a few i am the 'evil' one
To a handful of my closest friends i am Daryl....i am me
I have no whistles and bells
I have nothing hidden away
I am relaxed and carefree, yet able to speak if troubled
This is who i should be
Never hiding
Never worrying
Never fearing the future
Or ruminating too much on the past

I want freedom
Not from oppressive people or governments
But from my mind
I want it to be able to breathe deeply
Like i would on a fresh spring morn
To run free without a care
As i have done through open fields on a warm summers day
I want it to be as clear as a night sky on a winters day
To be able to look upon everything.......
And be happy