Fireflies

The fight begins inside, again, I feel the start of doubt, A flame is lit, it burns with pride, And suddenly, I'm cast out. I close my eyes to tears this time, And feel the past return. I try to breathe around the pain, But still the fire burns. In the corners of my mind, I know, This will always be the same, I'm lost in shadow, swamped in doubt, But I know you're not to blame. You're just caught here in my heart, somewhere, And I'm searching deep inside, I wish to scream and cry for you, Yet I wish to pray and hide. But on my knees I shuffle near, I can beat the past, I know, I claw my way though my own fear, Until I am strong enough to go. I reach out slow with trembling hand, In fear; you'll turn away, But just a ghost I have become, And you have no wish to stay. I feel like I am nothing now, As I watch your swift retreat, I tried to get past fireflies, But I couldn't brave the heat. Falling out of my own dreams, I open my eyes again, The images have disappeared, But still lingers pain. And though you're still here by my side, I feel a spark of doubt, A flame begins, it burns with pride, And again, I am cast out. In the corners of my mind, I know, It will always be the same, I'm lost in shadow, swamped in doubt, But reaching for the flame.