((btw-this is not real-im not really gonna kill myself-just
sayin))

Dear my readers,

this only so hard to say,
about what happened yesterday.
i felt as if my life just stopped,
and my heart just got stomped.

i don't want to say goodbye,
as this is only to hard to say.
but the pain is just killing me,
and i feel as if i were filled up with disease and decay.

i feel lost and abandoned,
as if, i died, no one would care.
so here i am, writing this letter,
knowing that there is no love yet to try and spare.

I've cried and cried myself to sleep,
wishing that i would never wake up the next day.
but then the sunlight would seep through the blinds,
and then there was nothing left for me to say.

my parents had told me that I'd be alright.
that life would get better in the meantime.
but they never knew,
that i would end up sitting here, would 115 pills and a
glass of wine.

i would try to send them signs,
that i wasn't so alright.
but they seemed to ignore them like the plaque,
and now living with myself had become a great fright.

I've runaway from home,
and tried to kill myself before.
i even use to cut myself,
until i had no more room left on my wrists anymore.

but everyone thought,
i just wanted attention.
all i wanted was a simple hug,
and even my name to have a good mention.

but again,
i am the plain teen that no one cares about.
i am just one of the less,
and am not heard even when i scream or shout.

and when i told,
my old best friend.
she just told me i was psychotic,
and i had lost my best friend, till the end.

Paramore's song "Never Let This Go"
is the only song i know,
that shares one of the same pains with me,
until Three Days Grace's song "Pain" seems to show.

I've tried to be myself,
and follow my dreams.
but they are just stupid and worthless,
just as it seems.

i just can't go on,
don't try and talk me out of it.
because all I'm going to end up in is a hospital,
not getting better and eating cockroaches and sh*t!

you just don't know the pain I've felt.
it's gone on only too long.
i would tell you what's wrong,
but i can't just write it all in a simple poem or song.

and now i am crying
saying to myself "i don't wanna die!..."
but i then realize and remember that i don't belong here,
and that i at least lived part of it and tried.

i got to make friends,
and even get a boyfriend.
but then they'd probably be
better off without me in the end.

i can't even remember 
where i went wrong.
it's just that
my story is unimportant and way too long.

I'm sorry if I've ever made you cry,
I'm sorry if I've ever made you wanna die.

I'm sorry if I've treated you like sh*t,
this is why I'm putting an end to this.

so I'll say my prayers,
and say goodbye.
and i get ready to swallow them all,
so i can quickly forget before i cry.

but wait!
then i see,
my little sister waiting there,
watching me.

see looks at me,
about to cry.
and looks at my panicky,
waiting for me to die.

and even though i cannot live,
and even though i dont want to live or even even try,
i then look at her,
and i would do anything not to make her cry...

you are my world! :)
and never mind this sh*t!
I'm going to live my life,
even in the dark, dreary pits...

I love you...

M3...x)

((again, this was not a real letter...i just made it up, and
speaking out for those who never got heard, and every 18
minutes, someone has ended their life...
every 43 seconds, someone attempts one...
i want them to know,
that they always have a heart at home,
even when you've got no where to go.
trust me, i know!...I've been there myself...))