I WISH I WAS MY GIRLFRIEND

I wish I was my girlfriend How different things would be The toilet seat would not be up Whenever I went pee! I'd be in charge of everything My house would be so cool To not want to go out with me- I'd have to be a fool! Never would I have to watch Another baseball game I wouldn't have to change my name It could remain the same Anything I wanted for my Birthday I could get- And since there would be 2 of me- I'd buy gifts by the set! I'd never cheat on me because I couldn't stand the pain I doubt I'd even want to cheat I'm sounding pretty vain! My farts would never stink so bad- I'd have to leave the room In fact there'd be no such a thing It's quite safe to assume! We could always take my car and I would always get to drive When I died I'd leave no will Because we'd neither one survive I'd never interrupt myself Cause that would be so rude I'd never have to eat any awful diet food!