Feet pounding on the cold cement floor,
the skin peeling,
i couldn't stop
he might catch me
he might read my thoughts,

he might see the real me
the part ill never let him see
i run fast never stopping, 
before i know it 
the sun kisses the day goodbye
darkness hugs the night 
like he hugs me
close and perfect

i look back,
the first time since i've started
i have no idea where i am
the surroundings so unfamiliar
the clean cookie cutter houses of the upper middle class
replaced by the small rectangular houses of the ghetto
The perfect, snobby silence replaced
by loud, rich hispanic music
the color of orange-red
silence; the color of a cold blue
merciless.

my head messed up,
i use my legs
they lead me to an old red ford
surrounded by girls with asses the sizes of mountains
it should be horrific to me,
the same me counting every calorie i stuff into my almost
non-existant body, throwing up if its a calorie more then i
should've eaten,
guys with wifebeaters and dark denim jeans
i approach them without knowing,
they see me and laugh
a shirtless tanned guy, the leader im guessing with the way
the rest look at him, looks me up and down
he chuckles and says something to his friends is spanish.

i hold in my breath,
try to look as tough as possible
"im sorry do any of you know where i am right now?"
this time i make the whole gang roar
my eyes float to a girl,
probably the same size as me,
but much more confident,
so pretty,
she looks at me, the only one not laughing,
"oh hun, your in San Jose"
I cringe, how am i supposed to get home? 
she hands me her leopard print cell phone
"call, don't steal it"
i smile, pathetically
i dial my number and on the phone answers my everloving
mother
"where the fuck have you been? do you know what time it
is?!"
"im in San Jose, umm next to Merlin's Bar"
"ARE YOU SERIOU--"
i click the phone shut.

i don't need to here more of this crazy bitch.
i hand the girl her cellphone back
she looks at my expression
she nods in understanding
i ask her if i can sit next to her and wait for my mom
she replies by scooting over,
i introduce myself to the crowd
they do the same

before we can say much more they turn the music louder
the nights sorrows drowned in the melodious words of
Juan Jose and Pedro Picaso
she comes to get me 30 minutes later,
i wave goodbye to my new friends
i replay the night over and over in my mind,
even through the yelling and cursing of my favorite mother
i can still see Maria and Mario trying to teach me how to
dance