My thoughts are not controled by me...

i know this is not a poem exactly, but i suffer from sicknesses that make me sufer from these and i watnted others to know... please read... dont shun me, or make fun of me... i just want others to know what all gos on.. I hear these voices in my head, they drown everything else out, they are like chains on my choices, they took control and will never give it up. they tell me to do as they say, i am thier prisoner, i must obey, i must do as i am told, i have no say, i am not aloud to tell anyone about them. i see them sometimes... at the end of the hall, in my dreams, my head, even in front of me. they come as this man who rules them all, he tells me that i must listen, i wake screaming...crying, scared of the figment of my imagination will kill me if i shut my eyes again. He controls how i feel, how i think, how i act, how i speak, it makes me sad, to be like puppet in his own little show. he tells me i cant get better, that there is no use trying, that fighting only makes it worse, that he cant be beat. He tells me that the doctors are lying, that they fill my head with lies to try to beat him, he says he keeps me safe, he says he is my friend, but i know deep down he is lying, i cant fight him, i am a weak fawn to his mighty power. i cant fight him, i cant do anything... i must let him do as he pleases.. my thoughts are not controlled by me...