When I'm with you
While I'm tasting your bitter sweet love
It feels like I don't give any thought to the world
I'd be blinded from seeing the truth
All what I'd be able to see is you
All I'd want is to be with you
Feeling the warmth of your love
But that would only last for a while

Then for a while, I'd be away
The curtains of truth would lift up
I'd wake up again from this painful slumber
The whole world and the ugly truth
Would crash upon my head
I'd see everything clearly
I'd wish that it was all in my head

Thoughts would go circling around my head
Telling me to get out as soon as possible, and leave!
Arrested by these thoughts
Arrested by the truth
That at times, I refuse to see

I do love you
At least that's what I tend to believe
I know that I can love you more
I am able to show you more of my love

But when I think about this world, about the truth
I feel like I need to withdraw my feelings and kill them
slowly
 I feel like I need to withdraw my whole being
Keep everything locked up in my heart-shaped box

I want a man that I can love with all my might
Someone to hold his hand in public
To hug when I need his arms around me
To love and feel glad and relaxed around him
Instead of being worried and tensed like when I'm around
you
To shout on top of my lungs to the world,
"This is the man I love and want to spend my entire life
with!"

A man that I'd tell people about how much I love
To hear them ask me,
"How's your man doing?"

A man that I feel safe and secure around
Someone that I know I can grow old with
And share the bad and good days together

To talk to as a friend
To have great times and stand together through hard times as
best friends
To adore, cherish and love as his only lover
To respect and value as his wife, as his life time partner

With you,
There's a huge missing piece to this puzzle called life
Living a secretive love
Putting up with lies
Having a double life
Feeling lost all the time
Loving you while knowing that it will all end one day
It all breaks me down and asphyxiates me

Times goes by fast
And I'll be leaving forever
Our story will end
In one way or another
So why make it later rather than sooner?
It'll only complicate things and make it harder

I don't regret knowing you nor loving you
You changed me in so many ways
You taught me so much
And showed me life in another new prospective

I believe that some people you get to know during life
Affect you and change you
To evolve to the person that your future awaits
And you helped me evolve, in a good way

But what must be done, should be done
This is what will happen anyways
Whether it was today, tomorrow, or within the next three
years
So cutting the painful long road to a shorter one,
Is the best and wise thing to do.