Distraction

Step by step, take it slow Breathe in and out, in out and in and out Inhaling water with every breath Dry drowning, being pulled further Under the water It's futile, these attempts Scrabbling desperately For the surface for that tiny sliver of light that never fails to slip through these spindly fingers Hate like hell fire Branding the heart A hot poker, a thousand degrees An evil sinking it's claws in "Oh, please, let me go!" The weak, pathetic voice rings out Somewhere, a voice, laughing, harsh, scathing In the spotlight I am illuminated Feeling naked, shivering Trying desperately to cover it up you're a liar, and everyone can see your faults, your pain, your misery Emotions like a roller coaster, Up and down Side to side Life travels in fast loops and I can't keep up Once, I was numb The sweet sedative covering my ears Couldn't hear my world crashing around me But the endorphins wear off Pain sets in, and the blood the blood, the blood Pours out in rivers unspoken Even stitches can't close this up And I sit here, tears as numerous as the bloodshed Sobbing like a little child Head down on the cold wooden desk, and I wonder Where this new me came from Aged numerous years, I'm 40 now Closer to my grave and I look back the happiness I once felt Is a universe away