Confused love (poem 2)

Its funny every where i look there you are.you have been there my whole life,unlike others.first love an i wont so much from you like others.i may pray to you an ask for many things.love you an have faith in you also wish an hope the best for you.As easy as it is to speak your name.yet you in my eyes you burn for ever.you should have die so much worst then you did.an every day i wish i was the one that had done it.how dare people pray to you an build buildings in your name.an other "crape"what a joke.How can i say i love you when i fill like this every day."J".so how do i pray??? Arther's note:i do not believe like this its just a hard time.