My Journey to Love

I thought I was good. I thought I was ok. I thought I was over you. Thought I finally Got away. I swore I was done Obsessing over you. Thought surely I had begun to stop Loving you, Wanting you, Needing you. I felt I was progressing, Moving on– I could go One day, then two; Soon a whole week, Without looking at you. My hope grew When I didn’t See you one day. I didn’t miss you. My heart said, “Yay!” I began to desire you less. It was good, My heart was a mess. The same thing happened With the rest of the guys I liked. Believe me, I was psyched. Of course I still Wanted them to be mine, But my deep desire for love No longer had me in a bind. I could finally See you, talk, Without screaming inside Or dying a little. Before, under a fake me, I desperately tried to hide. I tried to be Someone different, so you’d like me. I was craving Acceptance, Beauty in the world’s eyes. I kept falling deeper, Getting lost in my disguise. I became someone I didn’t recognize. I had drowned in my lies. I found myself, Got back on track. I was ok for a while Then what haunted me before Started to come back. This time I was determined To be in control; Take care of my soul. I was on vacation When I started To miss you again. But this time will be different I will win. I’m going to be me. If you don’t like it, It wasn’t meant to be. I’ll find someone someday Who loves me for me. That’s the guy I’ll marry. I’m tired of conforming; Trying to be someone I’m not. I’ll still flirt with guys I like But I’ll always remember This lesson I was taught. ©