Not Ready To Fall (Poem)

Sweet talking, As we are speaking. I cover my face though, Especially when laughing. Nice smile, As mine only lasts a while. But you should know, That you're not the number I want to dial. Look into my eyes, As I try to forget his lies. You say I am beautiful so, I try to hide this broken heart in disguise. You want me to clutch to you, And smile when I look at your eyes of two. But then mine look down low, Because I don't know what to do. I cannot take this road way, I block them both everyday. I know I'll have to go, But I can't move on without a word to say. Knowing that he is gone, I am here, ever so alone. But this love between us can't grow, That's why I take a while picking up the phone. It's all starting to begin. The same old story but you won't win. I need to let you go, And I'm sorry this had to happen. I start to cry, Seeing him stand so tall I could die. I have never felt so low, But it makes me wish I didn't know why. Now I'm stuck, With a mindset of bad luck. How do I explain to you so, You can finally escape the thickened muck. Deep in my heart, I am still being torn apart. I just wish i could finally let you know, That i don't have any free part. I am truly sorry, But I don't want you to always worry. It was nothing you did though, It was all on me. I'm just not ready to fall... ...Because I'm already on my knees.