I Promised You (Poem)

Dear Mom and Dad, I remember the golden strands that lie in front of my face, were once born with a low-light shine. I remember when I had to stand on my toes to see, and everything was fine. I remember the fields, covered in pastel colors. I remember the smiles and hugs, and the tears you cried, when all you needed was a shoulder. I promised you I would be perfect. I promised you I would stay sane. I promised you nothing but sunshine, and everything would one day makes sense and sound humane. I promised you I would not run. I promised you I would not lie. I promised you I would live out your dreams. Never shed a tear, and never dare to cry. I promised you I would never drink. I promised you I would never self harm. I promised you that this body would not look pale and thin, nothing but bone and skin. I promised you I would not have you alarmed. I promised you I would smile. I promised you I would wait. I promised you that you would not find my arms scared, and that you would only read love, because that was my fate. I promised you I wouldn't get into trouble. I promised you I would live my life fully. I promised you that suicide would not interest me, and that the only one who could take my life away, is the only one who's holy. I promised you I would be talented, smart, and different. I promised you I would be myself. I promised you that I wouldn't disappoint you, and leave your broken heart on my lonely, abandoned shelf. I promised you that bruises would stay ugly. I promised you that death would not become a trend. I promised you that I wouldn't let things get to me, and always stay positive till the end. I promised you I would forgive all your wrongs. I promised you I would learn to love my personality. I promised you that I would be your "normal" daughter; prettier than all the rest, in reality... I promised you drugs would never be an interest to me. I promised you that I would never dress like a whore. I promised you that I would only find an interest in guys, and I wouldn't party wild from door to door. I promised you that as long as the sun stayed up high, the majestic glow in my eyes, would never cease to die. And I promised you so many things, more than I can remember. But I know that nothing, can last forever. Not even you, we will all one day go. But I've already left, you just never noticed that though. There was nothing you could do, and nothing you could say. It was my own fault that I took a wrong turn, and made a mistake going this way. I promised you much more than this. I promised you this would never happen. And most of all, I promised you this isn't who I was... ...I Lied.