Dear Mom and Dad,

I remember the golden strands
that lie in front of my face,
were once born with a low-light shine.
I remember when I had to stand on my toes to see,
and everything was fine.

I remember the fields,
covered in pastel colors.
I remember the smiles and hugs,
and the tears you cried,
when all you needed was a shoulder.

I promised you
I would be perfect.
I promised you
I would stay sane.
I promised you
nothing but sunshine,
and everything would one day makes sense
and sound humane.

I promised you
I would not run.
I promised you
I would not lie.
I promised you
I would live out your dreams.
Never shed a tear,
and never dare to cry.

I promised you
I would never drink.
I promised you
I would never self harm.
I promised you
that this body would not look pale and thin,
nothing but bone and skin.
I promised you
I would not have you alarmed.

I promised you
I would smile.
I promised you
I would wait.
I promised you
that you would not find my arms scared,
and that you would only read love,
because that was my fate.

I promised you
I wouldn't get into trouble.
I promised you
I would live my life fully.
I promised you
that suicide would not interest me,
and that the only one who could take my life away,
is the only one who's holy.

I promised you
I would be talented,
smart,
and different.
I promised you
I would be myself.
I promised you
that I wouldn't disappoint you,
and leave your broken heart
on my lonely,
abandoned shelf.

I promised you
that bruises would stay ugly.
I promised you
that death would not become a trend.
I promised you
that I wouldn't let things get to me,
and always stay positive till the end.

I promised you
I would forgive all your wrongs.
I promised you
I would learn to love my personality.
I promised you
that I would be your "normal" daughter;
prettier than all the rest,
in reality...

I promised you
drugs would never be an interest to me.
I promised you
that I would never dress like a whore.
I promised you
that I would only find an interest in guys,
and I wouldn't party wild
from door to door.

I promised you
that as long as the sun stayed up high,
the majestic glow in my eyes,
would never cease to die.

And I promised you
so many things,
more than I can remember.
But I know that nothing,
can last forever.

Not even you,
we will all one day go.
But I've already left,
you just never noticed that though.

There was nothing you could do,
and nothing you could say.
It was my own fault
that I took a wrong turn,
and made a mistake going this way.

I promised you much more than this.
I promised you this would never happen.
And most of all,
I promised you
this isn't who I was...








                                                  ...I Lied.