you just dont know my pain,
of what i keep in vain.
i cry in silence,
yet u cursed me out with such tense.
you said i knew nothing,
and all i was worth for was f*cking.
(or "and that you felt no sympathy")
but yet you cant hear me scream,
and for you, that was your happiness as it seemed.
you've never really cared,
even though we were paired.
yet i was on the verge of suicide,
and u said you would help push me off and watch me die.
everything i had told you,
was nothing new yet true.
and when u saw the cuts on my wrists,
you just laughed and hit me with your fists.
you touched me here,
you touched me there.
you said this would be fun,
as you crossed your fingers and held on to the gun.
i act only so strong,
as if in the world, i had really belonged.
yet you looked me in the eye,
i knew my eyes had told you i had wished to die.
you told me what to do and pushed me around,
and if i didn't listen, you would beat me till i hit the
ground.
and then there was a puddle of tears,
yet sucked inside, were my deepest darkest fears.
no matter what i had said,
you always went ahead.
and you learned to twist my words around,
until my emotions were soon nowhere to be found.
i tried to tell someone,
yet i was trapped and left alone.
but you were always watching me,
even when i couldn't see.
this is all just a game to you isn't it?
you even said it yourself, that this is too small of a
fit.
but yet if i had said you were wrong,
you would make me feel small, then threaten me about the
day i am gone.
and then one day,
i had found a way.
i told a friend,
she told me not to go near you ever again.
but i had nowhere to run,
this was surely no fun.
but then she said you could help me,
but i was desperate so i had responded "please give me
safety!"
she said i should call the cops,
i said that no, it would never make you stop.
then she gave me some money and told me to go,
and then she prayed and hoped that i would at least live
till tomorrow.
i ran and ran as far as i at least should,
and snuck on a bus, and train, i wish the plane if i had
only could.
then i had finally found a place very far away,
maybe finally i would be ok.
but then i see a large shadow creep over me,
and soon i was afraid to turn my head around and see.
i finally looked and saw,
you standing there psychotic and drunk, as if you had just
came back from the bar.
you had my old knife and your gun,
but yet at that moment, there was nowhere left to run.
so i closed my eyes and begged God for forgiveness,
i guess this was the end for me being your mistress.
suddenly everything is black and cold,
as i lay there, my story untold.
but not for long,
because it was written in song.
as my best friend had come,
as she took away his gun.
she took my hands,
as sirens had filled all over the lands.
all i pray is that no one will have to live my life,
yet it is pretty hard when that person has got your knife.
i love you forever,
yet now i can watch over all in a life that is much
better...
thank you for hearing me... :) |