There was a time when I felt Alive  Even when it seemed my
life was bottoming out I felt Alive. I felt alive even when
my heartand spirit didn't feel connected to Her.  I knew as
long as I still had life in my body I could pull myself up
and out of whatever I was going through. I tried to hold on
to my my love of myself, of life. To turn myself back on,
get back in tune, back in step, put myself back together.
keep on going, because I still felt Alive. But something
happened that rocked my world, my life. What I had done so
many times before didn't work this time. Curcumstances and
events I could've never imagined happening to me. Now it's a
life of sickness, lonliness, anger and disgust. Im tired of
fighting for scraps of a life.  I tell her, You really don't
want to leave me with just this, do you? I've been through
too much already. When's everything going to be just fine
again inspite of any obstacles? The sparks gone, along with
my zest for life. I don't feel Alive anymore. My hopes and
dreams sabatoged. Why were my gifts and rewards taken from
me? I would inquire into this if I still felt Alive