Poser Freak, by XLilSexxyX
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Just because
I'm not all fancy and formal,
it does'nt make me any less normal.
To you I may seem weak,
But in my eyes all I see
in you, is just another freak.
You may stare in
disbelief but all you can see
is me being me,
but when I look at you,
what do I see?
Another poser tryin to be a ME.
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| Posted: 2005-05-30 20:26:43 UTC |
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| 2005-05-31 06:28:41 | xXJoshXx |
| I agree with disconnected_soul. This poem is great! |
| 2005-06-14 01:09:35 | diamond |
| This is a great poem. It really tells how most people really think. Great Job! |
| 2009-01-01 23:04:50 | Freddie Thackery |
| Love the first three lines and would have left it at that (possibly with a title like 'Me'). If lines 3 - 6 had read something like: "And just because you're tall and you're fair, it doesn't make your words any easier to bare." then it would have sounded less 'teenage angst' and had broader appeal I feel. To be honest I tend to switch off when I read words like 'freak' and 'poser' because it is so evocative of bad teenage poems. I find the poem confused. '..Another poser trying to be a me'.In other words, someone pretending to be an individual (you dont write 'like me'). But you already say 'in my eyes all I see is just another freak'. Surely a freak IS individual - so how can they be a poseur? Also, 'but in my eyes' why not 'through my eyes'?, why 'tryin' and not 'trying'. I genuinely love the first three lines of your poem which are succinct, neat and eloquent...and I think there are some clever ideas, but I feel the rest is rather confused and will only appeal to young adolescants (going through an identity crisis!). Perhaps this is the point! Still, don't worry - apparently NOBODY gets my poems and I am clearly in the minority :) F |