livin a lie!!!

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By pain never stops •

i take the blade and i cut im gettin deeper but people tell me im bein stupid am i? they dnt understand why im doin it they dnt wear the pain i do if only they could wear my pain they could mayb start to understand why i do wot i do! it makes the darkness seem lighter it make the sadness seem happier it makes the loneliness seem better wen i cut i have fear that i am alone have been and always will be it brings my reality to life i wish i had the courage to go that little deeper end it all! is that the best way? it seems like it the now but i cnt bring myself to do it incase its not! i have pain trapped inside and no one can tell i cant bring it oot its to painful to bring out i living a lie but no one knows it this smile is fake did u know that? im pretendin to be this happy inside im not insides, i want to rip them out if only u could start to see wot i do and how i feel then mayb it wid all make sense but i'll keep pretendin now and mayb one day sumone will find the real me until then i'll keep livin a lie after all its the best i do!!!

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January 5, 2006 22:50 Kirsty (living in the light)

All though I never have cut myself and never will I am a coward and fid help other places I still understand that It is hard in this world and that people who self harm have their reasons. I find it sad as in upsetting that there is so much pain and suffering in this world but I know that when I pass on God will comfort me, wipe all tears away and I will be happy. I have an awful lot of stress at school. I was seeing a counsellor but they wont let me now and so I turn to my church for help. Have you ever thought about Jesus? Or do you not want to know if you do come to my poems and I will tell you all I know.

April 10, 2006 18:41pain never stops

yeh sumtimes i have thought about jesus and god but truthfully i dnt really know if they exist or not!!