Losing a loved one

How does it feel now that you are on your own? No one who loves you , no place to call home wishing and dreaming of happier days days soon go and past drifts away People surround you pretending they care Then leave you alone when they see your despair The knife against your wrist wont seem to budge The alcohol you drink is never enough the half written goodbye letter ,the tears in your eyes You think about dying every single night You think of the heartache and the grief inside You are just too sick of seeing tears in your eyes you finally think that you made the right move and you go for it not a moment too soon it isn't that you are weak its because no one will listen no one seems to understand the pain your tears in moonlight glisten people will hate you and think you were wrong leaving them so soon after another loved one had gone thinking of yourself and not having a care but it was none of them reasons it was because it hurt not having her there it hurt too much to lose someone you loved and you tried so hard to act so tough you painted on a smile and you faked a laugh deep down you cried and couldn't choose a right path you softly whimpered her name every night and you held on to the pillow with all of your might you just couldn't see through the pain and that deep throbbing heartache it drove you insane you stared out the window but she never came you even resorted to calling her name no where to be found this wasn't a game i just couldn't live with that intense pain it is true when they say life does go on but i cannot wait and see because that road is too long i promise i am sorry that i just couldn't be strong and i will love you forever, forgive me i was wrong... 3rd december 08