My Anchor
By P.Paan •
He's not my real brother.
Well now he's not even a brother.
I guess what I wanted to say was that was a good friend I needed to rely on, like a brother.
So I hope that makes sense, I can see how it could sound creepy
Sorry!
When father died,
I starrted searching
Something to hold on to
Someone stable and Caring.
I saw him everyday and he was it
He was going to be it
My older brother, my anchor
for a long time, I did not want to feel
I wanted to be left alone
But I was subconsciously, unwillingly pushing myself towards him.
Sitting next to me he noticed the pattern of my veins.
He noticed my burned skin
He said he was the same
But there were others
Others who admired him
Others who worshipped him
I didn't notice him or his worshippers
They always treated him badly
He took it
So I did too
He didn't like it
He preached
Told me to do
Things I thought
Were alright
I stopped them
For acknowledgment
But he looked away
I reached for him
I longed for the approval
Never got it
Never forgot it
That's when I knew
I had fallen,
Fallen deeper than i ever thought of
So deep that I can't rise up
I'm stuck
Hands out
Far apart, lost
I tried to get out
Fall back down
Don't fight it
It's alright
It happens
Cant stop but fall
Deeper and deeper
Hopeless, years go by
Months go by
Weeks go by
Days go by
Time doesn't fly
I'm consumed
I've been eaten up
I'm living in hopes
Of that my dream will come true
Hope he still feels the same
Hopes he loves me as much as I do
Ive given up
Take me away
Focus on you
On your eyes
Your beautiful face
You're hair and body
Touch it and I fall
Fall with me
And we'll lay there
And we'll stay there
But this is wrong
No it's not
He'll love you
He'll see right through
You're bare and limbless body
He'll hold you
He'll be your limbs
He'll be your heat
He'll be you're heart
He promises it all
He won't let you fall
Fall, fall, fall apart