Mia<3

Does anyone see me? Or I am just a mist looking to far? I feel like a flood coming on, at the end of the world. I feel like secret wars are waging in me, My hands are no longer mine, these legs walking do not belong to me, the mouth moving is not moving with my mind. I don't think, I don't know, I don't think I want to. They hurt me again, I can't eat, but I do. What do I do? How do I stop it? Do I even want to stop it. I don't want recover... I don't think. I shake all the time, My stomach is constantly aching. My nails are getting thinner, my hair is thinning... I don't want to stop. Am I strong or weak? I don't see the diffrence, all I want to be is good enough... perfect, But I know I will never reach my goal... Perfection. I know I won't, I know I never will... I will always be fat, ugly, worthless, nothing, shit, evil, depressed, weak, stupid, suicidal, anti-social, child... Forever. Not that I have a choice. Oh well, this is what I choose. I can never let Mia go<3 She has helped me through so much but now, she hurts me. I know she doesn't mean it, just the ache... really hurts.