“It’s just drawing,” I tell myself.
“I’m good at drawing, why worry?”

Something rushes over me. “Just wait!”
It wont wait.
I have lost.

During the video lecture,
I’m mostly okay. However, 
My mind refuses to be tricked.
It knows what’s next. It’s the verdict.

Soon we will break, “so you say,”
Five minutes will not be enough.
Not to steady myself again.
Down the steps, I must find my Zen.

For I am not better, but go
Back to class, to that drawing foe.
The easel is ready, supplies set.
I take one deep, very deep, breath.

My fingers find the charcoal stick.
The charcoal locates the blank page.
Inside, I bawl, fuss, kick, howl, and wail.
Nevertheless draw, “I shall not fail.”