in my final act
an attempt to salvage
what was left
of the last scene
scene 17 draws to an end
with something so drastic
the audience gasps
but it's no surprise.

you look at me
without a care
and i watch your lives go
by without a care
i wonder why it is
each morning i greet
this world with such a vacant
blank stare.
but today
that all ended
i looked in the mirror
and my heart descended.

i broke down and i cried
and i realized
long ago
somewhere forgotten
i died.

the final curtain 
won't fall yet
the final act
cannot be forgiven
the final thoughts
from my head i've driven
and as i look at you in awe
i wish that maybe
inside myself
i had seen

in the bathroom
on cold hard tile
i sat there
i held myself for a while
before i stood up
and reached up to the
hidden box
i pulled it down
and with a frown
i took the contents
and i wrapped them up
in a piece of velvet so soft
and threw them out.

you would have smiled
if you cared
nobody there
i just sat again
and i looked
down at my hands 
and then at my thighs
and i realized this was all
my demise
my wrists are torn for nothing
just a disguise
i tried to hide the pain

i tried to lie my
way out
but now i realize
what must come about.

this is my final act 
upon the stage
into solitude
i will dive
its what i have to do
is i wish to survive.

and i can manage
i think
can you understand then
why i push you all away
why i hide myself
and inside i stay?
it isnt becuase i
dont like you
it's becuase i love you too much
i dont want to lose you
to scare you away with my burning touch.

these fingers hold death
this mind a shattered mess of mine
see teh changes now?
i have finially come to accept who
i am and how must
i be...
please be patient with me
i love you
i'll be back
but for today
i've wasted away.

xoxo
Kyelle