Cab ride

Intertwined fingers Running back and forth Hidden in the darkness Turning over and circling his palm Aware of every move Sound Breath Touch Hairs on arms bristle With a cigarette paper thin brush Eyes focused forward Sitting silently side by side And still my finger circles his palm Runs up and down intertwined with his hand Slowly Ever so painstakingly slowly And then his hand is on my thigh Firm and strong My fingers run along his arm I rest my hand on his leg Sitting Still sitting eyes forward The cabbie starts talking Nonsense neither of us cares to reply to But we do We reply in joking chat with him Not speaking a word to each other at all And the hand moves a millimeter higher I breathe in with the touch And I shift Ever so slightly My legs parting ever so gently My hand is still on his leg I inch a little higher too And his hand. His hand is moving With every turn of the cab In the back its dark and I'm alight I keep moving to let him nearer He rests his hand between my legs I'm wet but he can't tell He's millimeters from my knickers I can't breath for wanting him so He pinches my thigh, grasps it tight Wanting to move higher Not daring to move higher Damn tights. Why am I wearing tights? The cab driver is still talking. The roads are rushing passed. I dont dare look at him. Don't dare make a sound. These traffic lights I know We're here, we're near my flat Oh we're near my flat and this will end I want to stay here in this moment I cannot lose this moment The need for him is so strong I cant move Ive shifted so his hand is firmly clamped between my legs It's resting, not moving The knowledge of its position is unbearable I've clamped my legs together He's squeezing the highest part of my inner thigh With such urgency And we've stopped. We've pulled over. Im here. At my door. I look at him. Brush a brief kiss across his lips. Get out and send him on his home. Wanting him to come in. Knowing I cannot ask. And the cab waits. Cabbie and he watch me walk to the door. Then he's gone. Home to his life. And I lean my head against a wall. Exhale the breath I've held for twenty minutes. And whimper as my heart cries at the memory of how close to perfection I came. How close I was to turning our world upside down. How close he was to touching me how I need to be touched. But he's gone. Back to a life where I sit meters from him every day and cant touch him.