Troubled smile

Sometimes saying out loud i'm leaving makes your heart believes it have the courage to go face to face into it's happening. Sometimes I miss me, I try so hard to rediscover who I am and why I no longer smile. Misery is a cold, depressing and very dark place to be and god knows i'm so tired of being there... I forgot what happiness feels like, how freedom smells, how affection is more then just a fuck. I don't have the strength to walk away or even speak up for myself so I'll write about it and if that gets to hard to bare I'll wear a beautiful mask to fool myself an the world. At the end of the day I'll secretly cry myself to sleep and pray that tomorrow brings happiness.