Empty thoughts....I guess

I know I have deceiving desires that needs to be fulfilled. Selfishly I'll fill them with sinful sexual pleasures only from his sweet touch I'll feel less guilty...his loving temporally mask my deception with beautiful lust. Carefully preplanned fuck sessions that's greatly enjoyed with every stroke of the hour...god knows I feel bad but this erected penis quickly helps me forget...forget that 14yrs of a relationship can't be refreshed, forgotten, forgiven only hidden secrets of my dirty little deeds.