my compass is broken

i cant see which way is north i am spinning twirling shifting in a kaleidoscope or a snowstorm or whatever analogy makes me sound the most articulate and it is clear clearer than the fucking sky in august north is right there but my head is still a kaleidoscope or a snowstorm and it doesnt want me to see it is clouding my vision and placing words on my tongue instead that say go south. venture deeper into the darkness and god it is so tempting because the path is so clear and predictable and darkness is like the ocean it is so vast and beautiful and deadly and inviting and please dont let me go south.