everytime is the last time...

i feel like all my life people have seen a hole through me .like im unfinished or something. my stomach rumbles this constant need for something but im never hungry. i hear the emptiness echo in my entire flesh. i hear my blood swimming through my veins. thats how empty i am. im so tired of feeling tired that i sleep so much and wake up even more exhausted. my eyes hurt. my skin feels like somethings crawling on it. but i know nothing dare touch me. i am alone. and ive always been so. i will always be. even if i find company with someone else i am alone. its just me. and i keep running and running trying to escape the fact i am what i am and i just wish i could accept and somehow come to terms, that just because i used to be bad doesnt mean i always will be. and when parts of the old me pop up and try to knaw its way through my skin i need to learn to ignore it. but the rumbling gets so loud. i cant hear right from wrong. but i cant keep giving in. because my demons only want to see me fail. just like everyone else. and i cant let that fucking asshole win. or take anymore then he already has. i refuse. this is the last time. even though everytime is the last time. i swear. this is the last.