why do i care the most about the people that dont care the
least for me. what is it. what the fuck is it. is it all i
know? how does something feel so real and special to one
person and completely meaningless to someone else. i guess i
used to be that someone else. and now im the annoying over
sensitive, over dramatic, over emotional asshole i used to
turn down left and right. but what am i doing wrong. every
job i get fired from. every boy i fuck that leaves me.
because i dont know how else to communicate if its not with
my body. i dont know how to act. i dont know how to speak.
my clothes come off instead of words and for a few minutes
you think wow, this could really be something. and then the
next morning you wait for a conversation to start but it
started and ended with come over im lonely. play with me.
just for an hour. just pretend. i remember fucking this kid.
and i was high as a kite. and i said can you do me a favor.
just tell me you love me, i know you dont but please, please
just fucking pretend to as your holding my bare skin onto
yours. for the love of god just fake it and love me.