I wanted to kill myself and you were talking about dirty dishes.

Honestly. For someone who told me they want to work on things. To potentially move in together and have a future. Every time we fight you distance yourself and disapear. And its very confusing and it makes me feel like i dont matter at all. I tell you how i wanna die and you dismiss it. And . it doesnt matter what im saying because im just dismissed. I dont feel this is fair at all. That i tell you i love you and im trying and you cant even give me 5 minutes to just be there for me. I would never leave you if you told me you wanted to die. I held you in my arms at your house as you cried saying get my gun and kill me. Kill me. Kill me. And i held you and i loved you until you fell asleep. And im falling asleep to the sound of nothing or noone telling me ill be okay. Love doesnt take a breather or a time out. Its either your in completely or your not at all. And it always feels like i give you all i have. And you give me bits and pieces. I cant be with someone that has such a power over me but then vice versa they can go to sleep safe and sound knowing someone they say they love wants to die. Whatever you say back is just going to be a reason why your not comforting me and why your mad. And honestly. You dont stop giving a shit for someone just cause your upset. You dont just stop. Or at least i dont. So i guess thats why its so confusing to me how you like a light bulb. Can just turn everything off.