Why does there come a time
when I scream for you to let my hand drop
and you finally do
and suddenly I am blind.
I am dizzy, confused
Lost… lost without you.
I hear not
the words of advice
Nor see with my eyes your love
Why now, can I not be who I am?
Why now, must I strive just
to be good enough?

I try so hard
and when I cry in fustration
you say act your age
do your work
You won’t have these fears
if you were only good enough.

and the disappointment
that falls from the looks
of surrounding parents and teachers
who believe you can do better…
I’m sorry I’m not who I 
used to be.

Maybe I could be, If you
would take that time to say
It’s okay, you did your best
and that’s what matters most.
You had fun,
and that’s what counts,
grades are only numbers
getting fired is no big deal
you’ll grow and learn
you’re still my child…

But no, never have these words
been said past graduation.
I missed my grade 12 graduation
and you tell me I am not good enough
you say, why bother?
you won’t ever be what we wanted.

We provide for you and you throw
it all away, you claim you care
and yet, nothing changes.

and now you see
that you really have forgotten
forgotten what it is like to be me.
You are no longer 18 striving
to be an individual and at the
same time to be like everyone else.

it’s horrible to believe
yourself not good enough
And to have it reinforced
all the places you walk.

nothing can compare
to how it feels
to feel unloved
nothing matters though
I guess,
other than possibly
getting good grades
and going on to be 
not a good person but
another grey mass,
another suit and time in a well paying
BMW driving job.

I thought you said
“you had fun”
and that’s the main part,
I thought then…
that a career was for fun
education, for fun.
Why do you tell me I am
Wasting time, and tax dollars
to leisure about and lounge
and do nothing but socialize?
Why do you critique me so
why is it that what I want
isn’t right?

How do you know?
How do any of us know?

All I know, is I want to be free
but I want this freedom
with you still there
caring, and loving me.


Kyelle xo