Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
They weren't quite sure just what they could do
With a mountain of shell and a lake full of goo.
For Humpty was an egg, you see,
And when broken, he got a bit... sloppy.
So the King's men pondered the possible things 
That a five-hundred-pound broken eggman brings.
They thought all day, but were thoroughly duped,
And come dinnertime, they were just about pooped.
Then a small village boy walked past them and said,
"I've a craving for omlette, as we've run out of bread!"
The men got together and thought of a plan
That would feed not just the boy, but all of the land.
They ran to the castle to inform their Lord,
Who then hired blacksmiths, all he could afford.
The smiths made a skillet so huge in size
That the peasants could hardly believe their eyes.
It was placed on a fire that was roaring and hot, 
And they scooped Humpty's "goo" into the new pot.
It bubbled and sizzled and smelled really great,
And the men let it cook 'til the hour grew late.
Then, the time came when by bushel and ton
They added ingredients one by one.
Cheeses and bacon and mushrooms too,
Peppers and ham and potatoes, it's true!
Finally, with a spatula the size of a cow,
The omlette was flipped and the chefs took a bow.
Then the Great Feast of Humpty Dumpty began,
And I can't quite say just how long it ran.
What I CAN say is that, without any grace,
The kingdom dug in and stuffed every face.
They ate and they ate from dusk until dawn-
Until every last bit of omlette was gone.
So, happy and full, everybody went home, 
And all the King's men were left standing alone.
They buried the eggshell in the side of a hill
And made a fine statue with all of their skill.
'Twas a likeness of Humpty with a big chef hat on;
He looked like a fencer, but with spatula drawn.
Below his great feet was a brass plaque that read,
"Here lies Mr. Dumpty, who kept us all fed.
He did not complain, he did not whine,
He was a good soul, and he tasted quite fine!"
The moral that Humpty would eventually show,
And gave up his "egg-sistance" to let us all know
Is simple, straightforward, that's it and that's all...
If you don't want to be omlette,
STAY OFF OF THE WALL!