Somber Regret

all this confusion inside of me what was it that i couldn't see i worried so much about what wasn't real and now i know what it means to feel this horrible feeling that denies you your right to enjoy simple company, both day and night now destroyed by the words i fed you that day but now i just wish i could take it away all the sadness you feel and the tears in my eyes all the honesty lost and my damn foolish lies wasted on someone who'll never return all the things and the thoughts and the love and concerns what was i thinking it couldn't be true when everything i wanted i had in you and not him, not at all i mean, he never called couldn't see it was me i just wanted to be someone's drive and desire which burned like a fire but death-ly it died in my sight, in my cries and now left with heartache on infinite planes spreading all across memories that have all become stains left with this feeling of a sad lonely kind how strange that i had what i could never find and now melancholy dances with irony as i see what could've and what'll never be both the black and the white all so clear to me now just move on but i cant not again...dont know how...